Smokey Mountain is the term coined for a large landfill located in Manila, Philippines. The area was cleared decades ago and became the site of numerous public housings for the impoverished people living in the slums surrounding the landfill. The slums were also cleared, which was the home of 30,000 people that make their living from picking through the landfill's rubbish.
A CNN report wrote an article about her experience at Smokey Mountain:
It's this looming mass of decomposed rubbish, standing more than 20 meters high. From a distance it looks like an enormous mound of Earth, almost of equal height to the towers that stand next to it, but on closer inspection you can see the layers of plastic bags, tires and bottles all squashed together -- the remains of 50 years of Manila's trash.
A few weeks ago, Wai Jia had a sudden burden for Smokey Mountain. She visited there a few years ago with a friend. The same friend is now serving there full time. She received news that the kids had very yellow eyes and not sure what's the illness (or the cause). I felt this is like the Macedonia calling. We've been discussing and wondering what we can do. Yet where we like to help, the doors were closed.
It was a Sunday afternoon. We sat and we prayed for Smokey. We didn't know what to do and we just told God that we are available and like to help. He just had to open doors for us.
A few doors were open. Wai Jia was able to get leave in last minute notice. I was able to get our tickets online. Just last night, a doctor gave us a bunch of multivatimins for the kids.
Since we got married and the past few months, I've been re-discovering what it means to follow Jesus. What it means to depend solely on Him. I was medidating on a verse in Genesis 18 when God appeared before Moses and Sarah. God told them they would have a child next year. Sarah didn't believed it. In return, God said...
Is anything too hard for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14)
Jesus is drawing me once again. To follow Him. Just as He called the disciples. Peter, John, Matthew. Just follow Him. Not to worry about what to eat or what to wear. Not to worry about money or other things. Follow Him.
Living in Singapore, there's a tendency for me to become complacent. Wai Jia and I spent a lot of discussing and praying where God will take us. When will we 'help' the poor. How do we love our neighbours who live below the poverty line?
Going to Smokey Mountain we don't know what God will show us next. We are ready to be use by Him. We are ready to follow Him. We are ready to give stuff up (they are a blessing from Him, anyways).
And so here we go. Tomorrow afternoon. Wai Jia. Me. A suitcase fill with mutlivitmains that will last for two months or so. We don't know what God will do. But what we pray for is for Christ to show up in the darkness. We pray for His Spiriti to work through us to show His Glory in the midst of poverty. We pray for Him to work in our hearts. More compassion. More mercy. More grace.
Let's focus on the weightier matter of the law...justice, mercy and faithfulness. To spend on behalf of the afficted. To share the Good News of Jesus Christ. To love our neighbours as ourselves.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. (Matthew 23:23)
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
(Isaiah 58:10)
Wai Jia wrote a post about this experience. You can read it here.
Sometime encouragement comes in the unlikely places.
This is from Jason. A friend who followed my blog for a few years.
He was coming through Singapore a few months ago on his way to Cambodia. We had a chance to stop by for a coffee.
This is the email he wrote after he went home (Australia) from Cambodia.
As I mentioned, been meaning to send this photo through to you for a while, for memory's sake! Hope all things are well with you in Singapore. I'm still busily reading your blog, although have retired from mine just for a while, I anticipate being back in action in the next few months.
Cambodia was an amazing trip - my team (of 13 people) ended up going into Kampong Cham and staying at an orphanage run by a Christian organisation. We hung out with the kids, went into local schools and went around visiting the locals at their houses and sharing the Gospel. In total our team would have seen about 50 salvations and numerous people healed of various ailments, praise God!
There were plenty of tears shed when we left the village - mostly leaving the kids as we built such a tight bond over the week we spent there.
My mate and I have booked flights back to Sg for the end of the year, in anticipation of going on another trip, God willing. Pray for me, as I haven't had my leave from work approved for it yet .. am believing for a miracle!
Also I read that things seem to be going well with your lady friend ... good to see! Overall life in Singapore is treating you well? I do miss the food ... and it must be a bit cooler over there than it is here at the moment - we are experiencing our eighth heat wave for the summer.
This is a MRT (Subway) stop in the west of Singapore.
I wondering what it would be like. As I stood there, I prayed a bit to seek the Spirit.
I am reminded of the first time I went out to visit the poor in downtown Toronto in early 2008.
What it would be like?
Would I shared elegantly?
What should I say?
I was getting the cold sweats. My stomach wasn't feeling too well.
For the past few Sundays, I've been attending a Telugu Service at Cornerstone. I attended there because I heard they needed help the most. Telugu is a group of people from southern India. They came here looking to make money to send back home. Their job was to rebuild ships. They work everyday and lived in dorms. Because of the high service fee to bring them to Singapore, they often have to work 2-3 years before they go back home.
Most of those attend the church are 20-25 males. If you are going to hire some hands for manual labor, you need them to be strong, young men that can work.
The conditions from what the pastor told me is harsh. Looking at the numbers of how much they earn and live is meager. They make about $500/month. From that, $120/month goes to food. There were many other ways for them to spend their money. Alcohol, drugs, prostitution.
Those who came felt cheated. They were sold a dream to make big money to help back home. Instead, they came here and realize the living and working conditions were horrible. The church offered them a sense of belonging, care and hope. They have small groups every Sat night. Saturday because they work shorter hours (up to 5 pm) during the weekend.
When the pastor asked me if I should go to visit a small group, I said why not.
The plan was to meet at Jorong East MRT at 8 pm.
Once I received the sms, I replied back. We met up shortly. One of the brothers serving as a leader in the church came and picked me up. We would take a bus over to the dormitory.
Before coming, my stomach wasn't feeling too well. I've been sick and it felt like what I had during dinner wasn't working with my stomach. There were episodes of stomach ache. I txt my girlfriend to pray for me.
"One of the brothers in the small group have a problem. He is addicted to alcohol. He won't admitted it."
The leader said as we sit in the bus. Originally I planned to share about how I am saved with a liver transplant and I can do triathlon. Instead, I changed my sharing to my love to drink when I was in University.
Someone in church today mentioned that Jurong East is like the end of Singapore. In a way, it is true. As the bus winded further and further west, we saw less buildings and less lights. The bus, because it is going to where all the dorms are, were packed with men going back to their dormitories as well.
After 40 min or so, we got off. Walking along a side road, we were in front of the dormitory. A number of the believers were setting on the group. As they saw us, they took out a mat and we sat together and shake each other hands. They were very nice and gave me a bottle of water.
The cell group started off with a prayer. Then it was my turn to speak.
I shared about my struggle with alcohol when I was in University.
I shared about how I thought I was in control when the reality was that it was in control of me.
I shared about how much pride and boastful I was in drinking.
I shared about how after becoming a Christian, the desire to drink dissipate.
I shared about the joy of knowing Christ. He died for my sins (Romans 5:8).
I shared now I stopped drinking. I do not want to witness as a drunken anymore.
I don't know if what I said made a difference. Conviction of sins is the works of the Holy Spirit. I just shared how He changed my life.
Just as we were ending and about to pray, my stomach was starting to feel pain. That's the similar pain I had in Cambodia. I know sooner or later...probably sooner, it will want to come out. So I went to the washroom.
As I came back, they were celebrating someone's b-day. A cake was brought up and they offered me a piece. Knowing that I wasn't feeling too well, I thought about this. I then remembered one lessons I learn during missions. One of the scenarios were that you were a guest to someone's home and they offered you food that looked dirty. Would you take it?
The correct is yes. Knowing full well that you might get food poisoning, it's very disrespectful to refuse any food.
That was a scenario in a classroom. Now I am learning it in real life.
I said a quick prayers and took the cake. Because of the cream, it got worst. So that night I had to go a few times to empty my systems.
This might sound disgusting but the whole experience I am most thankful was God gave me an hour and a half of calm stomach so I could share.
I was tired when I reached home. But there's joy in back to seeking the Spirit and encourage others.
I am right now at OMF learning the role and the ministry. So a bit busy in the moment to post updates.
A good (and Godly) friend sent me this earlier the week.
It pretty much sums out the type of relationship I desire and also the focus of the relationship...
Not only praying for Him to keep opening doors for you both to walk into together as a couple to serve Him in this world for His kingdom!! but also for you both to grow intimately .. to "know" Him intimately ... the sweetness and goodness of serving together, the sweetness and goodness knowing that no matter how hard the ministry and mission He set you both to be in, it is His love binding you both together, His faithfulness fueling your relationship, His love and mercy following you both all days of your lives!!!
A constant reminder is that the relationship is not self seeking. It is beyond just a couple. But rather it is a longing to seek His Kingdom together. Where two people become one in glorifying Him not by merely living a good life but rather an utter obedience to God in the ministry He called the couple to partake.
As such, all lofty goals and dreams and desire of comfortable and security is set aside...
...so do not worry about the food you eat or the clothe you wear (or the person you married or the house you own or the career you will have or the things you will own or the vacation you will go)...rather seek first His Righteousness and His Kingdom.......
Sitting at Gate 139 in Terminal 1. The flight leaves in two hours and there's time to sit and be still.
Drinking medium regular (Medium coffee with one milk one sugar) and a whole wheat bagel toasted, not butter.
Realizing that today will be the last morning I am in Canada. The drive to the airport was the last time I will drive for a while. This morning will be the last time I sleep at home. It will be a while before I see Jojo (the family cat).
Of all the things to do and emails to send, I haven't really think about how tomorrow will be like. Perhaps if I sit and don't do anything for a brief minutes, the realization of going to Singapore, to serve at Overseas Missionary Fellowship (OMF) for two years, to live on faith and not by sight will don on me.
Sitting here, with my backpack, my bike helmet, and knowing that all that I own is in one suit case and a bike box.....there's a sense of lost-ness and vulnerability. All the things I accumulated and which I rely on are gone. Decisions have to be made on what to keep and what to give, sell or throw away. It feels like a lack of freedom. The freedom of using my stuff to say go bike or go play paintball. No bike and no paintball equipment, I cannot do neither of these things.
At the same time, there's also a sense of relief. In a way, the physical act of throwing away my things free up the clutter in my life. There's a level of stress when there's too much stuff. Are they being taken properly? Where do I store them? What if someone stole them? Without stuff, all these worries dissipate.
Lastly and more importantly, I am surreal on how everything is unfolding. A few months ago, I will not expect me to go. It is just not possible. There's a sense of disbelief. BUT I don't think a sense of disbelief makes us a less of a Christian. Someone who is truly mature in Christ is to act in faith despite one's disbelief.
I can't see where the path lead. I am scare where it will go (or not go). These thoughts and feelings don't stop us from following Him.
As I was clearing my stuff, I thought about Hudson Taylor when he started OMF (formerly called China Inland Mission). He had about 10 lbs in his pocket. Barely enough for a living. Taking in faith and having a vision to reach for the lost in China. He boldly took a step in faith and started China Inland Mission...
...indeed faith is illogical. It makes no sense.
...
There's always a sense of what I am doing is very important. But when I look at many of the Christian Missionaries (Eric Liddell, James Fraser etc.) and many others (especially the nameless ones), this is all part of the journey of seeking His Kingdom first above all. I am still in a surreal moment in how everything is unfolding.
How will the next two years in Singapore be like? What will I do afterwards? These are good questions to ask and reflect...but for now I prefer to stay in a surreal state. The realization that God is good, He is active and He is leading. And my role is merely a response by following Him as close as possible.
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
A week of packing, cleaning, selling, giving and finish many to do lists....
I packed. I am ready to go to Singapore.
Tomorrow's flight is 8 am. I will be checking in the airport at 4:30 am.
Thank you everyone for support and prayer.
God simply open doors....
And so a new chapter in my life in the other side of the world. In a city of diverse culture and language. In ministry role as part of a Christian organization with a rich history of sharing the gospel in Asia....
... but before all of this....
Currently in the process of raising support to be part of the IT team in OMF Headquarters. Jotting a few thoughts, reflections and emotions.
I can still remember the shock and impossible feeling when the OMF missionary told me about this role and it was a non pay role. Aka. I have to raise my own support OR God has to open up the supplies for me to go. That was in February.
In my prayer letter, I asked people to pray for me to not be so focus in money. Of course, money is needed in order for me to go. At the same time, many people asked me whether I should do this or do that in order to raise funds.
I once heard of a missionary going to Africa and the church organized a fair where people play games and win prizes to raise funds.
In my church, we sent a number of youths to Peru on a short term mission. They had a number of ways to raise support. One of them is becoming a slave for someone (detailing their cars, doing their chores etc.). Someone suggested I should do that.
At first, I thought about doing a fundraising dinner.
There are many ways in raising support. OMF has a policy of non solicitation. This is, I am technically, not suppose to ask directly for money. Based on the tradition of Hudson Taylor (and other OMF missionaries) on how he raised funds (simply through prayer and relied on God), it seems that raising support today is so different. This is not to say that the non solicitation method is the ONLY Christian way of doing things. Even Paul in his ministries asked for other church to contribute (Romans 15:24-25) as he is on his way to go to Spain.
...
And I see how raising support, though it is for God's ministry, at times can be quite commercialize. If this is a human endeavor, this is how you do it. You network. You meet as many people as you can. You focus on those who can give (aka those who are rich). You pass bulletin. You sell and market yourself. You build relationships.
In my mind, if I need more money. I will just get a second job. Why not? It is much easier and I can probably make a lot more.
It is so much more tempting to focus on the money aspect and my eyes from seeking Him.
Money, the love of money, is evil. While many of us will reason that, well we do need money to live, so what is wrong with asking for it. Myself included, wonder how often I ask for money and I am not satisfy. (Side note: I am taking from a context that I have far more than I need in a world where most people live less than 2 dollars a day....).
And so, what do I do? What do I say? Hehe..to be honest, when people ask me about this topic, I stutter.
Where do I start? I start off with saying...seek God first and let's see how He provides. Perhaps I can ask them to pray together with me.
...
The question I ask myself is how am I following His Will and not my will? What's the method where I can surrender everything to Him? It would be quite ironic if I am doing the Lord's work and yet not follow His Will.
For me, I focus on prayer, faith, and surrendering.
First, pray and be close to Him. We can do many things. But everything starts and continues to be in relationship with Him.
Second, have faith, many people ask me about my current job and what not. It is no big deal. It looks like the end but it is not. Selling everything, withdrawing investments, these are all simply a matter of faith (or obedience).
Third, surrendering. I have trouble talking about living everything for Jesus if I don't do it physically. Is how I spend and how I save consistent with my preparation? I believe there is a huge portion of it is just let go. Even Jesus said to the rich young ruler, sell everything, give it to the poor and follow Him (Luke 18). Or deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me (Matthew 16). What can I say about surrendering in a culture which we aspire to collect and accumulate? It is different. And at times, I don't realize how much I attach to my things until I sell them.
...
So is this to say that I don't ask and just sit around? Well, there are many ways to raise support. But for me, right now, I am leaning towards on faith and pray. This is not to say I do nothing. I request my church to partner with me. My friend asked me to submit an application to her church for support. I am thankful with the positive response and the response from my congregation in supporting me.
So this is the fine line I am walking. Maybe it is easier to go and promote this big thing. But I am cautious as how often it draws attention to me and not to Him. Cliff, the faithful one, is taking this big adventure to risk life to follow the Lord. Cliff is risking everything.
Mission is never about what we do or what we give. Mission is about He is doing. It is God's very nature to send out and to go after the lost (this is very missional and Missio Dei thinking). We are merely a participant in this. Yes, we should encourage each other on the Great Commission. But may we never lift up ourselves higher than the source and sustainer of Mission.
...
At this point, OMF is asking me to come earlier because they need me by mid Nov. So what does that mean? How will the funds raise? I have no idea.
I am hopeful. Because this is all up to Him. He has to open the doors. He knows the need of many Asians who do not know the gospel He knows my desire to serve. He knows that I can contribute by ensuring the admin process of being a missionary is easier and communication between different parties (home side team, field side team, missionary, support staff) be made seamlessly.
And I am most hopeful because God always pull miracles when there is no way. Perhaps this is God's nature to show that it is only Him that works.
I recalled Moses and parting of the Red Sea. It was at the point when the Egyptians were behind them and there's no way out when God opened the way for the Israelites (Exodus 14). Or Gideon when God reduced his army to a mere 300 against the enemy as many as the sands on the seashore (Judges 7).
This is God. He is active as this is His mission and I am simply a participant in this.
Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”1
Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen.”
For God, who was at work in Peter as an apostle to the circumcised, was also at work in me as an apostle to the Gentiles. James, Cephas and John, those esteemed as pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the circumcised. All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along.
Galatians 2:8-10
...
The passage is taken in Galatians when Paul is defending himself that he received Revelation from God, not from men. He recalled how he was accepted by the disciples to preach the gospel to the Gentiles, just as Peter was called to go to Jews.
Looking over the text, the poor is not consider as spiritually poor (like those who do not know Jesus). I conclude that the poor is physically, socially and economically poor because if it is spiritually poor, Paul would have use the word Gentiles (who Gentiles at that time know Jesus? or not spiritually poor). Anyways back to my post....
...
Remembering the poor.
It was at Tim Horton waiting to get a coffee and a sandwich for R (R lives on the street on a wheel chair. I visited him on and off for over three years now), when I realize I forgot about the poor.
A man in shaggy clothing was stumbling in the store. He wasn't very coordinated. He stuck out an empty Tim Horton cup as if asking for change. He was walking around the store. People were sitting on the table and ignoring him. In a brief second as he and I almost met, I looked away and turned around. With my back toward him, it was a silent gesture that said...."I do not have change to give you. Please go away."
It was such a natural reaction. I didn't even thought about it. But it dwell in me since then.
The man wasn't asking for change. He went back to his table and his friends sat next to him. I picked up the coffee and the sandwich and walked out.
How ironic, I go out and shared a meal with R. And here there's a person who just appear in need and I shrugged him off.
...
During the interview with OMF, they read that I have a heart for the poor. They knew about R and I. They knew about D and how I treated him pho in order to connect and shared Christ. They asked me how do I do it?
I thought about it and said, it ain't easy.
Note: This ain't a self pity post where I beat myself up and feel the satisfaction of pity and self gloat. This is a reflection on what it means to seek the Kingdom of God first and my natural tendencies to seek something else.
It ain't easy not because it is simple as just handing money. It ain't easy not just because it is volunteering. It ain't easy because it is so easy to forget about the poor. So easy.
I have my life. I am going on missions. I have to raise funds. I have to pray. I have to connect to people. I have to sell everything I have. I have to make sure my finance, insurance, will is in order. I have ministries I have to hand off. I have friend's weddings to go to. I have birthday parties. Last meet up with friends. Spend time with family.....
For the past few months, I can say, I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time.
In a way, I become self absorb. What do I need. What do I have to do for myself. It's all about me (granted it is preparing for missions...it become inward focus).
And thus, remembering the poor flies out the door. It is no longer important as I try to scrap and save every dollar I have to get myself over to Singapore.
All for the Kingdom right? Mission must come first. And part of the mission, to share the Good News, to bring joy and care to those who are lost, the gospel message that God is alive, God is coming and God is redeeming everything, also include spending time with R and D.
It was during the past few months, I noticed how I don't care as much about the poor anymore. I was joking with D last month that to stop calling me and I would put him on my block list. I was getting annoyed with his phone calls and emails and Facebook messages. I am so busy right now and I have to deal with this...argh!
It was at Tim Horton my action reflected my heart. Or my action reflected what I forgot.
Hanging out with R. I don't know if I will see him again. They are doing major construction at Nathan Philip Square. Soon where R is staying will be fence off and he will have to find another place to live. His wheelchair isn't working. It is not picking up a charge. The wheel is getting loose. There's not enough power to go up a small slope. R has problem finding a place to charge. Winter is setting in. When I am gone, where will he go? Where will he stay? Will I see him again?
D is getting old. He has a number of health issues. Wear and tear breaks the body from being an athlete for 40+ years. His bills are getting high. His car needs to be fix and he has no money. His daughter is ignoring him. He has no one to hang out with.
Yes. Time is short. There ain't a lot of time left. There ain't a lot of spending money left. Going back to a crazy way, why not spend it with R and D. Yes, I have emails I have to reply. I have things I need to follow up.
There are many life priorities which are important. It's just that there are bigger priorities which I need to focus on first. I have to go back to where God touched my heart. Those of us who are in middle class society might pass them a sandwich when we want to volunteer and do some good works. To seek the Kingdom and serve the lost is beyond just volunteerism. Rarely will we sit down and befriend them. Or know them and find out how they are doing. And help them out by sacrificing things we like to do.
It's easy to do the volunteering bit. Passing sandwiches to those who are hungry is important. What worried me about myself is that I create a barrier where I can simply get myself back to my middle class life with my Internet, netbook, smart phones and Starcraft 2. One of the aspects in the Kingdom is that the gospel breaks down all barriers. Jesus comes and mess everything up. He throw all the social expectations and norms out the window. Those who are marginalize are free to come at the feast next to the rich. How do I live that out in my world?!?!?
And to me, this is the most costly matter in seeking the Kingdom. It ain't just reading some books, or reading the Bible or going to Sunday School or taking some seminary course and write a paper on some topic. Granted these are good things (heck, I like to read, go to Sunday School, or take a seminary course). But if following Christ is reduce to merely a knowledge gaining expedition or self indulge feel good experience every Sunday or fellowship, then I really do not know God.
Yesterday during service, the worship team played this song for response. Holding my hand high, I let the tear fall. Not because it is good tunes or sentimental. But rather, it is a reminder of who God is. He seeks, not seeked, the lost. He gathers, not gathered, them. He is active. He is not passive. He goes fourth. He is a just God that defends the window and the orphan. He doesn't step back and say to Himself, 'why do I have to steep so low to hang out with them'. And for me, who say I follow Christ, I ought to do the same.
You have shown us
You have shown us, oh God, what is good You have shown us, oh Lord, what You require You have heard all our songs How we long to worship You Yeah, You've told us the offering You desire
To do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God You said, to do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God
You have shown us the riches of Your love And You have shown us Your heart for those in need Lord, You're opening our ears to the cries of the poor You have called us to be Your hand and feet To do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God You said, to do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God
To the oppressed and the broken To the widow and the orphan Let the river of Your justice flow through us To the oppressed and the broken To the widow and the orphan Let the river of Your justice flow through us
Let Your river flow, let Your river flow Let the river of Your justice flow through us, oh
To do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God You said, to do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God
To do justice and to love mercy And to walk humbly with You, God
I figure John Stott will have something intelligent to say about Christian Mission.
I just read the Foreword and I think I already enjoy what I will be diving into....
I was twenty six years old when this book was first published. I belonged to that group of people who would beg,borrow, steal or starve in order to get the latest book by John Stott. But this one was extra special. The evangelical movement was coming of age. We were entering a "postwar" era when some of the great battles that raged about the mission of the church were being resolved as the church begin to look at mission by studying the whole Bible. For example, we were beginning to believe that evangelism and social concern were both vital aspects of the Christian mission and that dialogue - done biblically - was not an enemy of evangelism.
...
...I had a sense that my life's work was going to be with the poor and needy. I knew this call would influence my lifestyle choices. I knew that if I was to identify with the poor, I would have to live simply and be involved in bringing material, educational and social develop to the lives of the people I was going to serve. I was a student in the United States, and I began to sense it would be best for me not to risk taking an American wife to a life with the poor - not an easy thing for a young person longing for marriage and living at that time in a dating culture! I needed a base of convictions that would help me in preparing for and executing the ministry I hoped to have in Sri Lanka.
To glorify God by the urgent evangelization of East Asia's peoples.
Last night before falling asleep, I thought about the urgency of the gospel. Surely we have matters in our lives that are important (relationship, family, career etc.), I asked myself lately how much of an urgency in sharing the gospel.
I can tell by my response and tone of voice when people asked me how my fundraising is going. It is down and discouraging. And most of the encouragement I receive is that God will provide and in God's timing. That's very true as this is God's ministry and He is in charge.
At the same time...
My heart is sadden to think about those who has a desire to learn about Jesus, the Truth, but never do so because they don't have a church or a Bible to read. Nor do they will ever find freedom from idols as no one will be able to access to them.
When I went to Cambodia earlier this year, it's daunting to see no church is in sight.
And this my heart aches and I am sadden. Because my role as an IT personnel in OMF can help connect the missionaries to the field and shared the gospel faster.
And so I wait. Moving as fast as I can to prepare myself.
And I pray. As this is His Ministries and His Mission.
And I will be anxious. Because this is more important than all the things and lofty goals that I use to hold so dearly.
God will certainly provide a way. At the same time, there are so many others who will perish without knowing the Lord and unless we move and act with Him, they will never discover the peace from above.
When we follow the Lord, we tend to have some expectation of what God will do. Instead of following, we 'lead' God in a self focus sense.
Surely if I do this, this and this, God will do this. Or this is my plan for the ministry He has given to me, Lord you better bless this.
Inevitably, the Lord will surprise us by not following along. Instead, the Lord will show us that He is the Lord and He is leading.
What we expect the Lord to do, the Lord will not do. Instead, the Lord will shatter our expectation and bring us to a point where we recognize that He is in control and He is in charge.
===
Some where at the back of my mind I always thought that when someone embark on following the Lord, other followers will have the same interest. What I find tend to be different. Ever since I tell others about my mission role in Singapore, I had the following conversations....
Friend: So when are you going to Singapore?
Me: Well, it depend on when I reach the funds I am expected to raise.
Friend: They don't pay you?
Me: Nope. This is a mission role. It is a mission organization.
Friend: They should pay you. Don't they have money? What about World Vision? They have lots of money.
Me: It is a different organization. World Vision is not a mission organization. It is a Christian organization but it doesn't focus on mission (in the context of sharing the gospel).
Friend: Well, they still should pay you.
...
Friend: How come you are going to Singapore?
Me: Because God lead me there.
Friend: Do you know if you go to teach English in China, they will pay for you.
It's funny because when I first accepted the role, the biggest shocker is that I have to raise my own support. And to be honest, this is like standing before a cliff and figuring out how to get to the top.
I am thankful by the many who support me, pray for me and encourage me. I wish I can say
Cheer up, God is good. God will provide.
Instead, I am tired. Every step I take I feel so heavy. It feels like I am going nowhere. Despite these feelings, the decision to go or called to go is beyond sentimental. I don't follow Christ on a good day and on a bad day stop following Him. Once the decision is made, God opened the doors, then I have to follow.
Perhaps part of the struggle is that a pigment of the imagination or expectation that when you follow Christ or part take in His ministry, others who are in the same faith will be as encouraging as well. This is not say I have no encouragement. I am just realizing that some do not share same excitement as me.
And that's ok....that's ok because everyone will be use differently and called differently. Not everyone has to support what I am doing.
And it's ok because if this is the Lord's Ministry, He will lead and He will provide.
One thing that I keep mentioning to myself is that even though right now it feels so slow. Like I am going no where. I should move faster (to go nowhere :P). There should be an urgency to prepare myself. To sell things. To thank those who support me. To pray and so on.
What if it takes a year to raise funds or two years or five? I should have the same urgency as it is if I am heading out tomorrow.
This week, I am taking a few days off. I will be up in the cottage with a few friends. I need to go back to what's important. To rely on Him. To seek Him. To be counselled by Him. To be led by Him.
Yes, there are works that my hands need to do. But more importantly, it is where He is working which I need to focus on.
Yes, some day spiritually, I feel like crap. And those are the circumstance which is in my life which will help me draw closer to Him.
An interesting conversation tonight at Tim Horton...
Pastor: So what's deep down in your heart. What do you want to do? Me: To share the gospel.
Pastor: Have you go shared it with people down the street?
Me: No....(then went on telling about R who live on the street in his wheelchair and D who I have pho with and became got Baptized earlier this month).
Pastor: Is that the first priority in your life?
Me: Yes....nothing else matters. My life, my stuff....they are all secondary (smiles).
...
Oh right...that's why I am doing what I am doing to prepare myself to go....
Cliff is preparing to become a missionary with OMF in Singapore. He's seeking the Kingdom first aka..selling everything, prepare what he can to be as simple as possible. ((Let's see how simple he can go!))
Living for Your Glory - Tim Hughes
What good is it to gain the whole world
But lose your soul?
What good is it to make a sweet sound
But remain proud?
In view of God's mercy
I offer my all
Take my life let it be everything, all of me
Here I am, use me for Your glory
In everything I say and do, let my life honour You
Sometimes encouragement comes from unexpected ways..
On Sat night, we had gym night for the University Fellowship. Before we head off to eat, I decided to do a little sharing from John 15 (the vine and the branch). I relate to how I am going Singapore for a mission role. Someone brought some guests to our gym night and one of the guests afterwards came over and pray for me.
He's probably about 17 or so. We stood by the side and pray for a bit. His prayer was full of passion.
I was quite encourage by this. Very thankful by how God provides supporters in little and unexpected ways.
I know this blog has been pretty quiet lately. The past few posts I felt that I didn't really shared what's going on in my life. Snipped in a devotion here. Shared a random thought there.
In reality, the past few months were very busy. Looking back from Jan till May, it felt like everyday there was something to do. Between juggling ministries, application for OMF, I wondered how I was able to take a course at McMaster Divinity Seminary. Maybe these all attributed to some high liver enzymes numbers and high blood pressure.
Perhaps this is the North American lifestyle and the pace is very fast (irony, compared to certain Asia regions, like Hong Kong, Japan, or Korea, Canada feels sluggish), but last few weeks, I had to be very conscious to slow down. Very conscious to say no. Very conscious to have some time alone.
Earlier this year, I wrote a post on how God has to open four doors. They are health, family, church and support. These are the four doors in order for me to go on mission. It is a long term role at OMF Head Quarters. God, in His Grace, opens all the doors except one, support (aka finance).
Earlier this week, an OMF coordinator sent me my Total Support Fund (TSF). TSF is how much I need to raise in order for me to go. Given my liver transplant, I have to add on medication and routine tests. To say, it is much higher than what I expected.
And in a way I am a bit frustrated by this. Frustrated in that I am ready to go. I am good to go. But I might not go if I don't have enough money. Perhaps, the surprise is as a missionary I have to raise my own support and how much energy, time and effort has to go into it. Email others, write application, follow up. Of course, these are necessary. If someone is going to sponsor me, I will make sure that their money is going for the Kingdom of God and not my indulgence.
The post I wrote yesterday. I will be pretty honest. God has to pull some crazy miracle in order for me to go. Of course, God is all sovereign and if He provided me with a liver surely money is not an issue. Though a part of me also doubt as well....but just because I doubt, it doesn't mean I stop following Him.
...
A lesson I learnt during my triathlon years is that just because my body is telling me I am tired, it doesn't mean I have to slow down. I learn that I can keep going. Keep Moving.
...
And this frustration, doubt, uncertainty, gives me more energy to move forward.
Ok.
So what can I do to save money?
What can I do to make more money?
What can I sell (check out Cliff's Garage sale)?
...
In triathlon or marathons or running races, there's a term we called toe-ing the line. It is the idea that when we step towards the starting line, we are simply to give everything we have in the race. So in the end, there's no regret. And to give everything, is very very risky because the body always want to go the other way.
...
And so, I am toe-ing the line in seeking God. This is not a time to stop. It is time to keep moving, keep praying and keep seeking.
The most reassurance is that Jesus loves us. Jesus considers us as His friends. I was reflecting from John 15.
2006 Half Ironman Peterborough - this is the last bit of the run. At this stage, there's no holding back.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.
John 15: 9-17
...
If you are interested in learning about my missions and like to pray for me, you can sign up as my prayer partner. You can also contact me and let me know as well. :O) Thank you!
"Do you really need to sell your bike? Can't you bring it to Singapore?"
This is probably the most frequently asked questions lately. Why do you need to sell your bike? Just bring it over to Singapore. You can still ride it there.
I love my bike. I love my Cervelo Dual. It is my first tri bike. I still remembered the golden days when I am more fit and could rip up the road on this stealthy machine.
So why do it? Why not just take it with me to Singapore and ride it there?
Side Note: I will be heading to Singapore to help OMF with their IT infrastructure.
...
To which I replied...
"Because it hinders ministry..."
Simple as that.
Things that hinders the ministry I need to discard.
But a bike is just a bike right? It's no big deal.
Not a triathlon bike. I always explain to people that a triathlon bike is like a Ferrari. It's great but it is also high maintenance. It ain't a commuter bike where I can park it anywhere. I have to find a place to store it (probably in my room). I have to make sure I bring it to the bike store and have it maintained once a year. With a commuter bike, who cares. It is a commuter bike. If someone stole it, no big deal.
Slowly my attention and focus will be more on taking care of the bike and that energy can be focus in ministry.
In order words, I care more about the things I own than about souls that are lost in the world.
And so...I have to give up my triathlon bike. Maybe in the future God will give me resource to get another one. Maybe not. But this shouldn't be my focus. My focus should be in following Him. If He gives me such resources, great. If not, keep seeking Him anyway.
...
The good news is that my friend from Singapore find a buyer for my bike. This means that I get to ride it until I go, then bring it with me and sell it there.
Sacrifice might be painful...but it is only temporarily loss compare to saving one soul through the ministry which He bestowed upon us.
...
Until then, take every advantage to go on the road, enjoy God's fine creation on two wheels!
That's how I was feeling for the past three weeks. Everyday, there's something to do. A list of things needed to be done. Emails. Follow-ups. Plan. Make decisions.
I haven't posted as much in the past few weeks. I went to Cambodia on a Vision Quest with Ratanak from Jan 22nd till Feb 4th. I also visited Singapore and Hong Kong for a week before I came back.
Afterwards, it was busy. I had my course, Missions in a Global Context, to catch up. Books to read. Topics to research. Papers to write.
Between getting use to back in Canada, God gave me a wonderful surprise.
Before going to Cambodia, I met up with a missionary from Overseas Missionary Fellowship (OMF). He heard of my stories and my interest in missions. When I came back, he offered me an IT role in OMF Headquarters in Singapore. It is a two year role helping their IT infrastructure. I took a look at the role description and it is exactly what I am doing at my work.
It's almost divine.
Divine because I prayed to God to send me overseas for 2-3 year. I am single. I am mobile. I can go.
Divine because Singapore is close to Cambodia. Though a part of me want to go back to Cambodia to help, I don't know if my health can handle it. I had a liver transplant and if I have any complications, who knows how I can get help. Singapore, on the other hand, is clean in that aspect. I still ask God if this plan makes sense. Use Singapore for a base to go to Cambodia. It's only two hour flight. I have no idea what I can do in Cambodia. The need there is much more than here. At least in Canada if I need to find a church, I can walk down the street.
Divine also because of someone I met in Singapore. My friend said...'OMF had many offices in around the world. US, Canada and Taiwain....and God sent you to Singapore'
Divine because this is exactly what I am doing at my current job. Translate business requirement to technical requirement. Train users to use the system.
And so the past few weeks were busy filling out forms, checking them twice, ask my family doc, ask my dentist, ask my friends for reference.
Among the ministries I am engage in. Organizing a summer retreat for my congregation. Lead University Fellowship. Help out at Bible Quiz.....I am full.
Of all the things I miss, I missed those quiet times when I could get up early on Sat morning, grabbed my bike and go for a ride. The quiet times I spent on the road and it was just me and Him.
Today I had a realization that if God is opening all the doors, I would be gone in two months. That's fast. I laugh (like Sarah) because I don't think that's possible.
My friend, studying MBA in a prestigious University, found out I am going to OMF and the role is a faith based role (aka I don't get paid. God provides the funding)...in which he asked, "Cliff, what about retirement? What are you going to do about that?"
I thought for a sec. Trying to say it in a gentle way over Gmail chat. Who am I following God or money? If God calls me to go, I go. I bang home with Matthew 6:30-32. What am I seeking? Retirement or His Kingdom? I also joke with him that he's only 30 and he's too young to worry about retirement. Side note: I don't disagree with retirement. It is just in the light of the world, when the world makes less than 2 dollars a day, and what Jesus commands of the rich...retirement seems a minor factor when it comes to His Kingdom.
He told me I am crazy (I don't disagree). At the same time we both agreed that if we read the Bible, this just make sense.
I can say I am scared. I joke that this is what happens when you pray too much. He answers. In the beginning of Luke, Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, could not believe that the Lord would give him and Elizabeth a child because they were old. The irony is that they pray for it. Now the Lord answers and he was afraid and could not believe it....
Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”
Luke 1:18
I am still wondering why I am so scared. Probably because He does answer. Going to Cambodia. My blood pressure. My health. This role. God moves so fast I can barely keep up. In a year, everything changes.
The guilty side is that a part of me don't want to change. I am comfortable here. I am comfortable in Mississauga. In my job. In my things. I don't want to give it up. Then I remind myself, these things are only temporary comfort. They are minor when it comes to the Glory Of God. And I remembered...vaguely of those times when I experience His Grace. Everything else does pales in comparison to that. Why would I want to go back? There's no joy there. It might feel comfortable but no joy.
These are the four doors God have to open if I will be gone to Singapore....
home
field
medical
support
If you are the praying type, please pray for me. Following Christ is definitely an adventure of a life time. I wouldn't want it any other way. Someday, I wanted to look back to this day and I can say to myself that I took one small leap of faith for Him. I still think I am a mouse of faith :O)
Thanks!
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
This post has been accumulation of my thoughts...tonight, taking the subway back home, I was reading Transforming Culture: A Challenge for Christian Mission by Sherwood Lingenfelter. The book is about the dangers when sharing the Gospel to another people group we sometimes inevitably include our own culture.
One particular experience struck me....
..a missionary complained bitterly to him about the time he had to spend on maintenance at the station. He said, "I spend 90 per cent on maintenance and 10 per cent on ministry. I am deeply frustrated! Please carry the message back to our churches of how desperately we need maintenance help."
The missionary described how disputes about property had alienated him from his African neighbors. Complaining that they had no respect for private property, he described how hostile neighbors frequently cut the plastic water pipe that brought water from his storage tank.
...
Neither the pastor nor the missionary considered the possibility of forgetting the maintenance and getting on with the ministry. The maintenance of the property was of higher priority than the ministry of the gospel in that missionary's life. He would not say this with his words, but he clearly showed it by his actions."
Earlier today, a friend sent me a story about a doctor in Singapore...
He could have made it big as a doctor, earned a lot of money, settled in a home with a car. All he ever tells us medical-missionary wannabes, is never to buy a house or a car in Singapore, because as soon as we do, the asset will have too great a hold over us. He even tells us about when to have kids, because if they are not timed well, going to the field will be put off. Many of his batchmates are outstanding ministers of parliament, rich doctors and famous professors. He chose a different route, lived in a small flat in China and bought a simple bicycle to ride to hospital every day.
I am currently taking a course on Christian Missions in a Global Context. In this week's class, a student who come back from Nepal made a comment how when the local Christians wanted to become a missionary, they wanted to have a car, a cell phone and a laptop. The rational was that all the foreign missionaries had those assets and that became a necessity in order to share the gospel.
Is it possible to bring a truly transforming gospel, or are we always limited to reproducing our cultural reflections of Christianity wherever we carry the message?
The book outline a series of different aspect of culture we need to be aware of. I just finished reading the chapter on wealth and possessions. I remembered the times when I see R on the street. I often wondered how he can live on the street with nothing but a few bags hanging from his wheelchair. I could never live like that. Tonight, as I was reading this book, perhaps because I am seeing him from eyes of a rich man.
When I was in Cambodia, I became very aware of my own necessities. It was very interesting because things which I thought were luxuries for me became necessities. My bed, for example, I never thought much of it. In Cambodia, I longed to be back in my bed. I longed for the comfort of back home.
Before Hudson Taylor went to China to become a missionary, he tried very hard to live with nothing and to learn to rely on faith. That was the sacrifice he knew he had to make. Had he brought a lots of possessions, he would inevitably spending more time on maintenance than ministry.
If there is anything I learn from my previous years, to be effective in ministry, especially cross cultural and to those who have less than I have, I need to lighten my load. I need to travel light. I also have to become careful to not impose my own set of cultural expectations, in this case, wealth, upon the people group I am sharing the Gospel. Last year, I gave up triathlon in order to focus on God. This year will be a year to learn to live lightly.
Property begins to own the missionary instead of the missionary owning the property. Preservation becomes a matter of preserving self-identity and well-being, as well as fending off disorder.
Jesus admonishes us to not fear these things. He calls us to a life of pilgrimage...The most important strategy is to adopt a simplified lifestyle. The less property we own, the less energy we will have to expend to prevent disorder. By simplifying their lifestyle Christian workers remove the temptation to hang onto the social values of their home culture.
Missionaries must also relinquish independence and become more dependent (at risk) on nationals. In Central Africa, for example, many women would be happy to earn money by carrying water for missionaries. While the men would need to learn to do maintenance work, they would be delighted to have jobs. If missionaries learn to accept less precision and be open to alternative ways of accomplishing things, they will probably find the national workers can take care of most of the maintenance that must be done. Further, the mutual relationship between missionary and national worker can become a means of discipling new believers.
To help us change our attitudes we may challenge one another with the question, Whom do we worship: God or the creation of our hands? Reviewing Scripture passages such as Isaiah 44 can help us come to terms with the issue of false worship. Only when we are willing to surrender to Christ all that we have are we free to enjoy all that He gives us. Jesus reminds us in the Gospels that if we struggle to save our lives we are certain to lose them.
He cut down cedars,
or perhaps took a cypress or oak.
He let it grow among the trees of the forest,
or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow.
15 It is used as fuel for burning;
some of it he takes and warms himself,
he kindles a fire and bakes bread.
But he also fashions a god and worships it;
he makes an idol and bows down to it.
16 Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
over it he prepares his meal,
he roasts his meat and eats his fill.
He also warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.”
17 From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
he bows down to it and worships.
He prays to it and says,
“Save me! You are my god!”
18 They know nothing, they understand nothing;
their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see,
and their minds closed so they cannot understand.
19 No one stops to think,
no one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
“Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and I ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?”
20 Such a person feeds on ashes; a deluded heart misleads him;
he cannot save himself, or say,
“Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?”
Isaiah 44:14-20
As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
This is by far one of the best posts I've read regarding short term mission.
In short, short term mission is not a tourist trip. It is a key leading to long term mission. Though it might seen there is big expectation, I think it is important for us to wrap our head about missions and the implications of every Christians.
Going into Cambodia, I can feel myself being difficult in their culture. I have to learn (and relearn) how to listen and how to learn. I need to be a follower.
They should not criticize the local culture--their language, food and the way they do things.
They should not assume that they know more than the people on the field just because the have more education and training.
They should not criticize the local culture--their language, food and the way they do things.
...short-term missionaries need to realize that God may be calling them to long-term missionary service. While more and more people are going on short-term missionary trips, fewer and fewer individuals seem to be accepting the call to enter into career missionary work.
I highlight the last point because speaking with one of the pastors in Cambodia, he said going to Cambodia for two-three weeks are not a kiss of fun. If you want to make long lasting impact, you need to live with the people. For years. Two weeks, for what it's worth (and it can be very useful) is not enough. Even Jesus spent three years on earth doing ministries. People need to see you live with them in order to be accepted.
One of the things I enjoyed in Cambodia are the people. They are very friendly.
My friend and I were talking about Eric Liddell earlier today.
I told him Eric became a missionary and went to China after winning the Olympics. Quite a humble feat to forgo his racing career...
My friend asked why did he do that?
To which I replied.
Because God called him.
Just as Abraham was called by God, so did Moses, so did countless of people in history.
God called, we follow. It ain't that complicated.
To which I am also called.
When He calls, it is clear as water.
My God is a God that restores community....
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them,
“Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
