A doormat for someone else

It was a few weeks ago when we had lunch after Sunday Service.  One of the brothers were sharing how he felt always cheated at work and always had to do a lot more than everyone else. At one point, I asked the brother about as Christian we should do the right thing and serve. He said, 'is that what Christian is about? A push over?'

To which I replied, 'was Jesus a push over dying on the cross?'

And I keep thinking about this.  I think about this because there's a tendency to put ourselves on a pedestal for Christ.  It could be a ministry we are part of.  And we at times will determine that our ministry is so important and vital.  

At the same time, there's also a tendency to go the other way.  To keep pressing down and say how low our position is.  Sometimes it is a prideful self trying to attract others to see, 'look what I am doing.  I am such a humble servant.  Can't you see that?' Unconsciously asking for some sympathy and respect in return.

For me, as a Christian or one who follows Jesus, we should not place the attention on us but allow others to glorify God.  But I feel this is hard in this age (not to say we shouldn't do it because it is difficult).

I raised up focusing on me.  What do I want? What do I gain? What attention do I seek?  

Even someone who say they are Christian can lead attention to themselves instead of Jesus.  

And this is a humble servant.  There are those in my life who simply serve. They are usually name-less and not recognizable.  

In today's devotion, I think about this and reflect upon the ministry that I involved before.  I think one thing I notice in the ministry I am part of, it is to train others on how to serve others.  Sure, we might have a fellowship for certain age group, say University student (I pick on this group because I was leading them before I came over to Singapore).  As often, when it comes to the idea of serving or servant-hood, it is often to serve each other in the fellowship.  And how convenient, most of them are friends (I hope!).  Perhaps a better way to teach servant-hood is to serve another fellowship or another congregation.  Maybe the elderly.  A fellowship that has more needs. 

It is much harder to die to oneself when we think about ourselves all the time.  And God often push us to serve those who we do not want to serve or care to serve.  Jonah and the Ninevites.  And sometimes, when we have an inkling to serve, it is under our condition.  I will serve after I got this job. Or I will serve only after I have the house. Or maybe I will serve only in where I live.  

I am learning this too. I am learning as the devotion says, we become a doormat for someone else.  Not for me to boost.  This morning at OMF, I was telling another missionary that my role is really supporting the missionaries.  There's no brave missionaries out in the middle of no where, living in difficulty and proclaiming the Gospel and saving lives and doing miracle after miracle.  Those times when I think I am more than that. I have to remind myself that my role is just a drop in the bucket. 

Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer—to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others? Or do you say, “I am not willing to be poured out right now, and I don’t want God to tell me how to serve Him. I want to choose the place of my own sacrifice. And I want to have certain people watching me and saying, ’Well done.’ “ 

It is one thing to follow God’s way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a “doormat” under other people’s feet. God’s purpose may be to teach you to say, “I know how to be abased . . .” (Philippians 4:12). Are you ready to be sacrificed like that? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket—to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served? Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted—not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work while maintaining a saintly attitude, because they feel such service is beneath their dignity.

The Calling...

...of Matthew

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

Matthew 9:9

Stubborn Disciple(s)

Sometimes I think I am the most stubborn disciple of all....

In the gospel of Mark, the disciples are often depicted as ... fools... They never get it right.  They never understand what Jesus is saying or doing.  They always say the wrong things.  Jesus spent as much time rebuking them as he did with the Pharisees.

Take Mark 8:14-21 for example...

 The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 

“Be careful,” Jesus warned them. “Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” 

They discussed this with one another and said, “It is because we have no bread.” 

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?” 

“Twelve,” they replied. 

“And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?” 

They answered, “Seven." 

He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”

Leading up to this section, Jesus performed two miracles of feeding the masses (the feeding of five thousands in Mark 6 and the feeding of four thousands in the beginning of Mark 8).  He also walked on water (Mark 6:45-56).  He cured the sick and drive out demons.  The oppositions; Pharisees, Herod, teachers of the law, are mounting.   After all these, the only concern the disciples is worrying not having enough to eat.

Hehe...I looked back on my transplant, on my blood pressure, on my teeth.....and I still lack faith.  For the past five months, the numbers that measured my liver functions (ALT, AST, ALP) are high.  Going to do an ultrasound this Thursday and a biopsy next Monday.  The last time I had a biopsy was 20+ years ago, a few months before my liver transplant.

And all this, I still do not understand.

Indeed, a very stubborn disciple!

Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?

Mark 4:40

I will follow - Chris Tomlin

This passage has been on my mind for the past few days...

As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. 

- Mark 1:16-18

Today's Sunday School, the teacher mentioned this song, I Will Follow by Chris Tomlin...

The biggest battle is not external circumstances.  It is the internal struggle against one desire.  For the desire to go, there's 10 or 100 times internal forces to stay.

I love the way Mark wrote his gospel. It was quick. It was immediate.  The author wrote in such a way like they were in a hurry.  He called, they followed.  Simple faith.

I will follow - Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go 

Where you stay, I'll stay 

When you move, I'll move 

I will follow... 

All your ways are good 

All your ways are sure 

I will trust in you alone 

Higher than my side 

High above my life 

I will trust in you alone 

Where you go, I'll go 

Where you stay, I'll stay 

When you move, I'll move 

I will follow you 

Who you love, I'll love 

How you serve I'll serve 

If this life I lose, I will follow you 

I will follow you 

Light unto the world 

Light unto my life 

I will live for you alone 

You're the one I seek 

Knowing I will find 

All I need in you alone, in you alone 

In you there's life everlasting 

In you there's freedom for my soul 

In you there joy, unending joy 

and I will follow

How do you see your work fitting into faith?

A friend asked me where do I see my work and my faith.  How do they interwine?  Here's my response.....

You are asking a loaded question...one that I can spend forever to answer :)...(which I probably will and expect this to be a long email).

The biggest lesson I learn from triathlon is the order of things when it comes to serving God.  I learn to let go of the expectations, dreams and accomplishments first, commit to the Lord, then work hard.

Often we do it the other way.  We try and work hard first, then we ask God to make things happen to meet our expectations.  

If we are truly His follower and His servant, we should let Him lead and we should follow.  

And this takes a lot of courage, guts and faith.  This is almost like you not worry about MBA program and asks God if He wants you to go somewhere, you will do it without hesitation or regret.  

Side note:  To make sure I was getting rid of my idols...I told God during the summer I will give my tri bike to anyone in my vicinity if they need it.  Triathlon is almost my pride and joy.  I have to make sure it ain't my idol by making sure I can give it up.  It's God's bike anyways.  At the same time I stop doing triathlon this summer.  I just want to see where God is at.  If He wants me to do it, I am sure He will let me know. [God didn't give me that opportunity and I still kept my tri bike.]

I ain't very spiritual or some holy person.  What I notice is that Jesus asks us to count the cost first then follow Him.  Instantly, I think by following Him I will miss something fun or miss out on life.   Granted I sometimes feel that too.  Like this morning, I have to remind myself does it make sense to give up money that can be spent for retirement or a house or a car to help the poor.  Then I remember what Jesus said.....Matthew 6:33.  Seek His Kingdom first.   Then everything else I do make sense.  Even if it doesn't make sense to this world. It makes sense from the Bible.

Funny thing is that those who truly see (or seek) the value of the Kingdom, they are more than willing to give up everything.  Because it is so good.  Much more than what this world can offer.  This explains why the 11 of the 12 disciples died for Christ after resurrection.  Also explain why Jesus said the Kingdom is like the treasure hidden in a field and fine pearls (Matthew 13:44-46).  They find it great value that they will literally sell everything and follow.

The reality, and a griming reality, is that this is how most of us live our lives.  We put job, family and lifestyle first.  Go to a good program to get a good job to get a good house for our family.  Then we look for a church/fellowship that meet our needs and with the time we have left we spent on ministry and serving.

So our priorities look like this:

Lifestyle -> Job -> Family Home -> Church -> Ministry

In fact, Jesus teaches us to focus on the opposite.

Ministry -> Church -> Family Home -> Job -> Lifestyle

[Added: This is taken from Tim Chester's The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness]
[Correction: I mistakenly wrote family.  It should be home.]

Ministry and church comes first.  Granted ministry doesn't just mean in the church. It means any activities (in the church and out of the church) that use to serve Him, share the Gospel (Great Commission) and encourage other brothers and sisters.  

In North America, we strive for a comfortable life.  The good life can become a thing more important that following Him. Perhaps this is why the Rich Young Ruler is so hard to follow Christ.  Because letting go is just too hard.   I think we live in a culture where it is more harder to give up than just work hard.  I mean like this, how often will a Christians give up their lifestyle to serve the Lord.  Instead, we tend to be, well I will just serve the Lord harder. I will do more for Him. I will do this this and that in the church...fellowship...programs.  

So coming back to this, what about my job? The way I see it, the job is just a ministry given to me as much as anything else. Everything we do (in and out of church) should give glory to God.  I don't have a secular life and spiritual life.  Everything is sacred.  

I still do what I do and I work hard for my company.  That's good work ethics and good witness.  My job ain't my idol and if God calls me to go somewhere else I will drop it and go.  The first thing I have to do is acknowledge that God will take care of me, not my job/career/accomplishments.  He is the Father that provides for sparrows,  He can take care of me (trust me, I still struggle w/ this).

At the end of the day, God doesn't need us to do anything.  He is God.  His Spirit is leading.  The Kingdom can grow with and without us.  We are fortunate to be chosen by Him to do Good Works which He set us out to do for His Glory.  I just follow Him as hard as I can.  Remember what Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7 -> I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 

We need Christians in business world just as much we need missionaries.  Christians can be just as impact-ful in the secular world as anywhere else.  We are called to do good.   To do good to our neighbors.  And we should do it to everyone around us.  The faith is whether we are willing to do it by His ways instead of our way.

Tonight, I had the pleasure of spending a night with a highschool friend. We went downtown and shared a coffee with a homeless person.  We visited him a few times now. It didn't seem much. I mean, we didn't change life or performed some miracles.  But yet, this little thing, discipling my friend, serving together, and seeking the Kingdom is wonderful.  I will never give this up for anything else.  It just feel so good.  Though the world might never understand..it's ok :).  I am serving to the One that matters.

I find that following Christ....the more I follow, the more I realize i need more faith.  And the more faith I need, the more I want to follow.  At first, I just want to try giving up a bit of this and a bit of that.  Next thing I know, I am starting to give up more and more.....then the only thing that's left is my life.  And we know that my life ain't really mine anyways.  And this ain't just me figuring this out, it is all the work of the Holy Spirit.  And that's super awesome :)

I will pray for you.  There must be immense pressure.  May He reveal you and guide you as you finish your schooling.

Between good and good

Just write a quick post before I head out for lunch.

I notice that the choices I make as a Christian is not between good and bad.

It is not a decision whether to steal or not to steal.

In a world of affluence, often it is a subtle difference between good and good.

When I was little, I grew up playing paintball and video games.  I still do them on and off.

Is it wrong to play paintball or video games?  Not on their own accord.  They are entertainment and enjoyable. Good time to spend with friends.

At the same time, there is also a point where I have to decline such invitation as there is a higher priority.

If God calls me to use paintball as a ministry...that's a diff story.

When God calls, He doesn't ask us to choose.  He gives a direct command.  The response is often have to do with giving up the 'good' things and follow His path.

Another example is triathlon.  It is a great testimony and a great ministry.  A lot of people encourage me to keep doing it.  Great for health.  It is fun. It brings hope to others.

These are all good things.  At the same time, when God calls and says it is time to move on, I obey.

....

The freedom to choose between good and good is willingness to obey from the One.  It is obedient as a disciple of Christ.  And it is not a deep sadness to loose those things.  In a culture of accumulating for more, the idea of giving up is foreign.

And it is not a sacrifice...the real sacrifice is on the Cross.  Everything I receive I did not earn.   It was given to me.

Should I play paintball when my friends ask me to go?
I sometimes say yes and sometimes I say no.

I limit myself  'fun' times so it won't over take the times I am called to serve...though serving can be fun as well :D.

So how do I discern?   For me, if I look back over the past where I spend my time and money... was I faithful in what I am call?  Am I focus?  Have I put time in the ministry He calls me to go....

If I cannot answer those questions with a clear conscience, I know something is up and I ain't giving the Lord my all.

And I am weak at this.  Because I get frustrated when many people ask me to go out.  To socialize is not bad.   I think I got a quick temper and want to do things I need to do.

This is the lesson I am learning.  To learn to say no.  Not with grief but with joy.  To be ok to say no.

To choose between good and good.

...

Want to see how Christian and Jesus is restoring in Cambodia??

Take a look at this video from a mission trip at Forward Baptist Church

[Update: In the same night, I received this email.]

To study the Bible...

When I first went to church, I had a pastor who taught us how to study the Bible. I remember there were a few Saturdays where our congregation will gathered together and my pastor would give us group exercise.

I didn't give much thought about it. Looking back, I am very thankful and blessed that he instill me and my congregation on loving the Word of God and reading the Scripture in context.

Tonight, I met up with a new Christian and we did a quick Bible Study. Because of his heretic schedule, I asked him what time was he available and adjust my time accordingly.

When I looked back and looking forward, to read and study the Scripture is by far the most valuable skills I picked up along the way as a Christian.

With this new Christian, I told him I ain't teaching him Bible 'lesson' per say. I do not want him to just listen. Sure we will go over Scripture. And I did speak a lot.

I told him that I am teaching him so that he can teach others the gospel. What to look for? The words that the author is using? What was the occasion?

That's discipleship making. That's far more important than the lesson itself.

We don't train fisherman how to fish by just handing them a fish. We give them a rod (and some baits!)

I find that I grow the most is when I have to dig through the Scripture. Sure, sermons, lessons and other commentary help. It is when the conviction of the Holy Spirit speaks so loud and so clear that I cannot turn away. (not that i really want to turn away).

Not just in knowledge. It convicts the soul and transforms the heart.

Tonight Bible Study wasn't just a Bible study. It was following the Great Commission. I was thankful that we had an hour or so to dig through the Bible and how to read and interpret what the Words are saying.

And we will never know what tomorrow might bring....my goal is that if for some reason my friend has no access to church or fellowship, he can continue to grow in His Way by the rod that we (not just me, I ain't the only one 'discipling him) prepare for him.

AMEN!

Gospel Living: From program to lifestyle

Yesterday before service, I was sharing at praying room that I am trying to train people to be not just good at event planning or doing. But rather to be living the gospel as a lifestyle.

I don't think I say all that as I often rumble and say a few things and miss a few things.

My church is having a Christmas Luncheon this Sat. I was wondering if the people that coming to help out, am I training them to be discipler of Christ? Or am I merely training them to be good at churning out programs?

For example, we needed people who serves for this event. Am I training these people to be efficient at serving? Or am I training them through serving as a way to learn the humility of Christ??? Or better yet to embody Christ by living a lifestyle where they serve others?

I don't think I figure this out yet. Though I am leaning more on training them to be disciplers...not merely program workers.

All for the Kingdom of God.

Delight Yourself in the Lord

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

Earlier today I was spending time with my Pastor and we were talking about this. We talked about how this passage might reference to ask God for anything and He will give it to you. The condition is in the first part, we are to delight ourselves in the Lord first. Then He will give us what we want.

I was saying that if our heart is the same focus as the Lord, then the desire will be to do His Will.

Tonight I was just having a chat with a brother and it dawned on me that lately my heart was troubled was perhaps I wasn't focus on His Will. We were discussing missional and intentional and I thought...wait..my Lord is calling, am I following?

It is crazy how the desire can fulfill people. Look at Paul the Apostle. He was so in tune that everything he considered important; his prestige, his credentials, his education, his experience he considered a lost. (Check out his resume in verse 5.)

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: ⁵circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; ⁶as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless. (Phillipians 3:4b-6)

Paul goes on stating:

⁷But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Phillipians 7-11)

Paul was so satisfied with the Lord that he gave up everything he had. He considered everything else as rubbish. Not only that, Paul WANT to share the suffering with Christ and ultimately to die like Him (verse 10). Who wants to consider suffering as a joy? Only when one is so transformed and intune with the Lord, can one be willing to suffer as Christ would.

That's the power of the gospel. When we look at the Parable of Pearls and the Hidden Treasures, they all indicated that the person who sees the Kingdom of God will be transformed and give up everything for it (Matthew 13:44-45). Just as Paul considered everything he once own as lost and rubbish compare to Christ.

I am once reminded that My King is moving and He is calling...as such I better start following....

Wholehearted Christianity

There is only one way to live: all-out, go-for-broke, risk-taking, pedal-to-the-metal, ferociously joyful and grateful enthusiasm for the Lord Jesus Christ. Halfway Christianity is the most miserable existence of all. Halfway Christians know enough to feel guilty about themselves but haven’t gone far enough to get happy in Christ. Wholehearted Christianity is very happy.

- Ray Ortlund (taken from The Happiness of Wholehearted Christians post by Tullian Tchividjian)

Looking back some of the most memorable experience being a Christian, the closest I felt the persence of God is often times the most trying. The times where I simply have no where to go but to look up. And often, in this circumstances, I often have to go all out and not holding anything back.

Sometimes, and more often than not, the thought of complacency is very very tempting. The thoughts in the head range from 'why should I go, I am not equip' to 'what about the other guy, I done my part' often are quiet small doses of cold water pouring over the passion to for His Will and for His Kingdom to come.

Jesus, as radical as He is, always ask those who follow Him to go all out. With the Rich Young ruler, He asks him to sell everything (Luke 18:22). The calling of His Disciples, Peter, Matthew, James and John (Matthew 4:18) simply drop everything and follow Him. It is very black and white. Either we all drop or we don't. Either we choose to follow or we don't.

As a Saviour and as a Rabbi, He lives the what He teaches. Dying on the cross. That's going all out. There was no holding back. The Father hold back some Grace. He hold back everything. To the point where Jesus cried out for Him (Mark 15:34).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said, "when Jesus bid a man to follow Him, He bids the man to die."

That's pretty much what it means. Going all out. To the point where one's life is no longer matter. Only when one is willing to give everything and even his/her own life, that's when one truly see and experience the grace of God.

This thought has been flowing in my mind. Cliff Tam is dead. I always considered after my liver transplant as a second chance to live. Now it is more than just the body.

The Cliff Tam that the world knows of and that is enslaved in sin is gone. And only through death of one self can life emerges. AMEN!

JI Packer speaks to a new Christian

Picked this from Missio Dei Surbia...AMEN TO THAT!


JI Packer Speaks To New Christians from Mike Anderson on Vimeo.

Rethinking Discipleship...

I subscribed to Roy's blog. He just had a post on discipleship that reminded of the course I took earlier this year. The post is called, More thoughts on discipleship.

Information doesn't guarantee transformation. Information alone doesn't change people. If it does, what's our excuse? Never before has the American church been so resourced. There's been a big disconnect between the head and the heart. Discipleship isn't merely about information download. Too often we have treated discipleship like a classroom. But Jesus didn't disciple in a classroom. It was life on life.

Never equate longevity with maturity. It is possible to be in the church a long time but not have increasing evidence of Jesus' indwelling. Any congregation can become a spiritual club, where members are merely infants in diapers. They just come to church to sit and soak. If that is all people do, they will never grow. Spiritual transformation is never passive.

The measurement of discipleship is obedience. Nothing more, nothing less. I would add this qualifier that we don't want obedience stemming from legalism, but rather a person whose heart and life is captured by the love of the gospel.

Disciples aren't made effectively in classes. There's no way around it: time, time, more time. Coffee, coffee, more coffee. One conversation, then another. Classes are components but shouldn't be the main method. Disciples are made within the messiness of real life. There is no substitute for it. People want to see how faith intersects real issues, struggles and challenges in life. You can't teach that in a classroom.

Last night over coffee, a brother and I discussed about church and the length of time that one should stay in it. My thoughts on this is that a member need to stay in the church for a long time (2-3 years plus).

I do not think God will tell a member to jump from one church to another (exception is pastors/missionaries but even in their case, it takes years for them to do God's work...not months). Recently, I hear a number of brothers and sisters jumping from another church for various reasons. Some do not feel the church fit their needs and some is looking for another church for relationship.

When it comes to a church, local church, I see that as a community of Christian serving and growing with one another. It is difficult, if not impossible, to do so without spending years to foster the relationship and trust allow the discussion deeper issues (sins, personal problems).

Without exploring deeper issues, spiritually growth will be hindered. And to develop these relationships, it takes time. A whole load of it.

Better program does not speed up the process. Better structure does not speed up the process. Better leadership does not speed up the process. It is as the post described, time, time and more time. Coffee, coffee and more coffee.

In a culture where pace of life is ever increasing, it becomes easy to get distracted and forget that even Jesus, a man God, spent three years with his disicples.

He could simply come down from Heaven, give them a Bible, and then crucify for our sins. Nope. He spent three years living, traveling, breathing, eating with the twelve. He didn't hurry up the process. He simply live lives with them.

Can the disciple method that Jesus had done 2000 years ago still applicable today? Can I transform my life to where I can simply live lives with others?

Despite the soceity where we are moving ever faster, I see there is a huge need for people to be real and genuine. I can even argue fundamentally that's what people need (this is why Starbucks enviornment are so popular, a place for people to be real).

When it comes to discipling, I have changed in how I disciple. The hard part is not the planning and the program. The hard part is strategically giving myself free time so I can freely 'disciple' others. This often involve clearing out my schedule and purposely not doing anything so I can let God give me opportunity to serve.

And this is hard. When I am tempted to do more and fill in more and living in a society where doing nothing is perceived as lazyiness and not 'good' use of time.

When it comes to the best investment, it is not money or effort that I place my bet on. It is time. Time is always scarce and once it is gone, it's gone. Everyone is given 24 hr a day, 60 min an hour. Nothing more and nothing else. And since it takes years to disciple others...why not start today?