Quite funny. I forgot what my Senior Pastor preached on..I only remembered staring at Isaiah 1:13-19...
And the Lord speaked clearly. Here's how you should worship..
- learn to do right
- seek justice
- encourage the oppressed
- defend the cause of the fatherless
- plead the case of the widow
I was sitting there and wondering...when was the last time I did any of these? When my heart was gripped by these issues?
And my heart is heavy. Heavy in God speaking clear and yet my heart is not in the right place.
I do not know how else to describe it.
I went to the prayer room and reflected on the sermon.
Does it really matter? I am not talking about just doing more or else. I am just wondering where my heart is at.
Next week, there will be another sermon. Another Sun Service. Then another one after that. There is a fellowship week in and week out. There is prayer meeting week in and week out. My role as a Christian. Punch in and punch out.
I am just wondering...am I worshiping God as God directed? Or am I simply putting God in a box where I only 'worship' him to fit my own lifestyle? If I am too busy, I will ignore the issue. What about the weak? Well, they are important but I am too busy doing my own thing, living my own life and pursuit my own happiness. The poor is an important issue as long as it doesn't cross into my life. They are out there. Not here.
I was listening to Boundless Podcast yesterday and someone said: "when Jesus says to help the orphans and the widows I really think He means to help the orphans and the widows"
...and so I am sad.
Christianity becomes a convenience faith. And the songs that I wish to sing are hollow. God sees right through it. Nothing but cheap words to try and uncover a deceitful heart.
And the saddest part of it...there is part of me that enjoyed this superficial worship. It just blends right in the crowd.
Sometimes I think what Jesus does is great. I love it. I love how He comes for the poor and help the weak. Though I only love Him for what He does. And I do not want to follow nor imitate. I just want to see.....