I remember a prof use to say that looking back, if he's going to error, he will error in grace.
As a do-er (I am a high D on DISC), the frustration that comes often is relate to doing. This is not righteous anger or holy discontent. In a way, it is a matter of self pride and maintain self worth by compare myself better than others.
It is as simply as..
- I am right because God is with me. (shouldn't it be God is right and I am with Him instead)
- I am better than the other person because..they don't _____ [pray, serve, worship, go to fellowship]
- God, I am doing soo much for you..how come they don't do it and still come to you. That's totally unfair. (what if God give grace to them just as much as I am..what's diff does it make?)
- I am right and you are wrong and here are the reasons..... (discouragement without a route or a path for reconciliation....definitely lack of grace and mercy).
Perhaps that's why the worship song like Unashamed is soo good...because it brings me down to my knees and to realize that..hey..Cliff you a sinner and you suck just like anyone else.. Do you remember when you were drunk when you were in rage when you were bitter? Didn't God offer grace to you? So why would you not do the same to those who wrong you or in-different from you?
By not forgiving others, the ultimate person that hurt is myself. It is painful and the bitterness that never fades away. That's why forgiveness and grace is so good. It help each of us to let go of those wrong doings. The times when we wrong others and the times when they 'wrong' us. Forgiving others and being forgiven should be the commonality in a Christian circle.
Strangely, we sometimes at church live in a performance model where we hid our sins and pretend to be righteous and 'holy'. In a way, you have your sins and I have mine. Don't come and open my sins and I won't do the same.
Some say that you have to repent first for God to bless you.....perhaps, it is through God's graciousness that we can repent....and a heart transformed by the Holy Spirit can forgive and repent freely. Because we have a security that our heavenly Father is rich in mercy, love and compassion.
To be honest, still not sure how i can represent this in my church and my circle of influence. Sometimes it feels so easy to just stop trying when you see others are not the same. This is where I need to get back to how God changed my life....hmm ... :O)