Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I wish....

Sometimes I wish my church is like the other church....

Sometimes I wish my fellowship is like the other fellowship....

How come my Sunday Service is not as energizing as the other one....

Or how come my pastor doesn't preach like ______ (insert big names John Piper, Tim Keller, Francis Chan etc.)...

I think there is legit reasons to focus on self needs.  At the same time, lately, I wonder if this is more of a consumeristic and individualistic side of me..aka selfish desire.

God places us in circumstances where we are to grow Christ-like characters.  These circumstances are often less than ideal.  Like Moses and the disgruntled band of Israelites.  Or Paul, having to defend his apostleship rights and at the same time getting persecuted by Jews and gentiles and preach the gospel and rebuke churches.

What if we allow God and let Him direct which church, fellowship, ministry He wants us to go. Even at times it is less ideal (aka suck!).

I find this thought is more consistent with what Jesus talks about deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him.

How can I deny myself when I always want to get what I want?  Or how can I deny myself if I get upset when I don't get what I want?  Is God really not providing for my needs? Or is God already provide what I needed but like a little child making a hissy fit when a parent refuses to buy candy at the store?

Looking back, some of the less ideal situations, no English pastor, feud within fellowship, these are the moment I grew the most.  By growing I learnt to rely all on God.  By growing I surrendered all to Him.  By growing, to continue to respond in grace, in encourage and in love despite what happen.   By growing equals to praying like there's no tommorrow.

These are not done in good feeling from worship, sermon, reading books or fancy programs.

Perhaps it is sombering to realize that what I wish or what I view is the way to growing spiritually God will often blow that out of the water.  All the ideals I have about serving Him is thrown out.  All (self) ambition goals (which often lead to pride) are broken.  It is a matter to be obedience at all cost.  Not by my strength but by His Power.

The mind is transformed and renewed with Him being the King and the way He reigns the Kingdom on earth.

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