Monday, November 16, 2009


Tonight, I met up with a friend that I hadn't seen for a while. She is getting ready to go to Australia to check out a few Universities. I shared all the great sights and experiences down south. She was making a decision whether to stay here to study for her Masters (and save some money) or go to Oz. I told her once she went down she would never want to come back. Hehe :P

The conversation ended off with discussing about PMS and getting piss off and depress. Not that I am an expert in this area. Though lately, looking at some of my posts, I can clearly not in a positive mood. I understand and be grateful of the salvation that I received. But I cannot stop thinking about going out.

I thought about my city. Those who do not know our Lord. Is someone out there bringing them to Christ? Is the Gospel being preach?

I look at my life. Have I really give up something for our Lord? Am I really following the Lord? Or am I paying lip service? Do I go to church on Sun praising the Lord and spend the rest of my time, energy, and money investing in things that don't last (self seeking pleasure, comfort etc.)?

So here I stand. Looking at my city, sheep without a shepherd. The grief and sadness and the hopelessness the city that they dwell among. The desire to show them that REAL hope is not a myth but a reality. The fear of the task that I was bestowed upon. The magnitude of the evil that is fill in the air. The uncertainty and doubt creeps in my mind.

So where do I turn? Does someone understand? Is anyone out there feel the same urgency? Does anyone not only have the urgent desire but seeing the futileness of people living without Christ in their lives? Does anyone feel the pain and the sadness of those who do not know Christ?

There is One. The One who is sending me (Matthew 28:18-20). The One who have compassion for the lost (Mark 6:34). Who goes to save the sick. Not the righteous (Mark 2:17).

And this is who I seek (Matthew 7:7)

When He commands, GO!

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