Speedball is set up in a symmetrical field with bunkers and a flag in the middle. Each team starts on opposite side. The goal is to either bring the flag to the other side or tag (shoot) the other team out. It is a very fast pace game.
In Speedball, there are two types of players. There are the front players which move up close to the other team, grab the flag and take the other team out. There's also the back players. Their role is to support the front players by making sure the other team is not moving up (aka shoot a lot of paintballs at the other team). My friend and I loved to be front players. I loved the rush of adrenaline. Time slowed down as you popped up, shoot, and ducked just in time before you get hit. Your pupils widen as you tried and figured out how to take out the other team. There's nothing like the feeling of dash into a bunker as paintballs are travelling at 300 ft/sec coming at you. It was an exhilarating experience.
Those moments when I played exceptionally well was when I focused on taking the opposite team out. Because of the quick reflexes require to be a good front player, hesitation will get you tagged out. If I worried about getting hit, I won't dash up as fast. I could feel the fear in me. It's those situations when I focused on the main goal. To take out the other team. To make sure my team win. I am willing to win this game bad enough that I will do it at even at the expense of sacrificing myself.
Thinking and deciding is already too late. Just do it.
At times, you have to be reckless.
Tonight I was reading Oswald Chamber's devotion on Keep Recognizing Jesus. Oswald discusses that when Jesus calls us to do something, however big or small, whatever our circumstances we are in, just do it. Be reckless to risk your all.
The idea of risking your all doesn't sound as foreign to me. In triathlon, in Half Ironmans, in marathons, in a race, an athlete at times have to risk it all. They are all in or nothing. There's no half way. There's no questioning. There's no in between.
Whenever I question myself why I need to go all out, I already lost. I will inevitably slow down. I will talk myself out from going all in. An athlete doesn't ask a question to ask why do they have to go all in. That's the name of the game. It is simply a matter of when.
We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then comes His rebuke, “. . . why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31). Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.
If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, “Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?” Be reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.