Cleaning up...

My parents and my sis went on vacation for the past week and a half. They went to Eastern Europe. As such, I spent the past few days living on my own and taking care of the house.

Last night, I spent two hours cleaning my cats' litter boxes. It was more work than expected. I took the litter boxes out to the front, cleared the litter, hosed them, scrubbed them, dried and put in new litter.

By the time I was done, I was exhausted. It is one thing for me to go run for hours. It is another to do chores.

I ended the night soaking in a warm bath (added epson salt to help my legs recover) and cracked open a new book, Ordering Your Private World. The first chapter, the author (also a pastor) talked about the busyness in life as he headed toward a burn out.

It looks like a good read.

Today I was browsing surfing the internet and I come onto this page.

One of the quote from Eugene Peterson captured me:

"I am busy because I am vain. I want to appear important. Significant. What better way than to be busy? The incredible hours, the crowded schedule, and the heavy demands on my time are proof to myself—and to all who will notice—that I am important. If I go into a doctor’s office and find there’s no one waiting, and I see through a half-open door the doctor reading a book, I wonder if he’s any good. A good doctor will have people lined up waiting to see him; a good doctor will not have time to read a book. Although I grumble about waiting my turn in a busy doctor’s office, I am also impressed with his importance.

“Such experiences affect me. I live in a society in which crowded schedules and harassed conditions are evidence of importance, so I develop a crowded schedule and harassed conditions. When others notice, they acknowledge my significance and my vanity is fed.”

There are a few things going on my mind. And I am trying..to live life as it is. To live. Not to do more.

I remember those days when I try to jam as much things as I can fit in. Only when I started training do I see the overwhelming of having a bloated schedule and its affect on my life.

Lately, I think about the world around me, locally and internationally.

An election is coming up. Do I know who to vote for and who's party represent my views?

On the news yesterday, the US government deny the bill to bail out the financial companies. As such, the world economy slow down by a bit. Do I understand the implication of this?

How am I in managing my time? Am I busy for the sake of busy-ness? Or am I investing in things that are worthwhile?

And this might not necessary have to be work-related or a having project management mentality. And I am not defining my life by how much I have accomplish or the results of my effort. As in life, there are many things which will not reveal the result until much later.

And I am working on my vanity. And understand that there is no need to scream so loud to get attention. And the quietness of life, when my family is on vacation, is a great time to reflect.

And lately, I enjoy the quieter moments of my schedule. I work, go home, train, chores and sleep. Perhaps, it is because I am dictating the terms of my life rather than moving one thing to another without a say. And also perhaps, it is the quietness, at times feel strange and abnormal in a fast pace lifestlye, where I can listen to God and enjoy being in the moment.