Used

I sat there with a cup of coffee in my hand.  The coffee wasn't the greatest.  There wasn't any sugar available.  It was bitter and it was stale. There were many sweets and cakes.  I wasn't too hungry.  Nor do I want too much sugar going in my system.

I sat at the corner watching.  For once a week, I go to a food bank and to drop off grocery. It was my friend's initiative.   We wanted to do a grocery run.  To get to know those in Mississauga in need and also to share the gospel and pray for them.  My friend was on call and couldn't make it.  So I went by myself.

Monday night is usually quiet.

Volunteers were sitting around.  Chatting away. They know me as the driver.  I kept to myself.  Over a cup of stale coffee.

I thought about the lists of things I have to do.  Need to set up a schedule for ushering, plan a mission trip, book a hotel when I go to Boston, clean up my room, what I need to read...need to pray....on and on.

For a brief moment, I thought why I am here.  I am here all by myself.  I have far more things I need to do.

I stopped.

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Cliff, you asked for this last year.  You asked God to use you.  Your wish was to go out everyday and go after the lost of the lost in Mississauga.  This is why you are here.  This is why you are tired and you still come out.  Yes, you have many things to do.  This is what you asked for.  And God answered you.  Do you remember?

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As I looked at the few that dropped by to pick up food.  An elderly Asian couple.  Holding plastic bags and carrying a little luggage to carry as much food as they can.  A mother with a twelve year old and holding a baby in her hands. They were picking a box of cereal.  A volunteer asking a gentleman that he could only pick five cans of soup and asked him what flavours he want.  I realized there isn't anywhere else I should be.  Despite my so busy to do list.  Life with all its priorities.  That can wait.


In the book, Good News about Injustice by Gary Haugen, he started off with living in North America where it is safe and free, we tend forget that the rest of the world lies in injustice.  Our home becomes our little lot of green garden. Sure we stress over work and life, we rarely worry about the injustice that occur outside of our plot.

I stared at the rows of canned goods, the food on the table, and the people who needed them. I thought about the little green plot that I live on.  If Jesus is in Mississauga, He would never sit comfortably at His home and read the Bible.  He will be going out after the broken and the needy.  He said it...

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
Because He anointed me to preach the Gospel to the Poor,
He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives,
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set free those who are oppressed,
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.

(Luke 4:18-19)

I am reminded why I was there.

It was at this time a volunteer struck a conversation with the elderly Asian couple.  He asked them if they needed a drop off with the grocery.

I instantly leaped off my feet and with enthusiasm I said, "Yes, use me. Use my gas.  This is why I am here."

English was not their first language.  Through a heavy accent and a few broken words, we made out where they live. As we went upstairs and put the grocery in my car, I told them that normally I wasn't suppose to drive them.  Because of liability issues, we were only to drop off the grocery.  They would have to walk home.

I looked at them. They were very excited to see my family car and kept cheering it was nice.

I ignored the rules and told them to hop in.

As I drop them at their home, they thanked me for being so kind to them.

I went back to the food bank and thank the volunteer for taking the initiative. It is good to be use sometimes.

I didn't think I was kind.  I simply response to a promise Jesus fulfilled when He came on earth.  He is kind.  For even someone as broken and dirty as myself, I can still be used for His Glory.

Then I said, 
"Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."


....


Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?"
Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!"  

(Isaiah 6:6,8)

Afterward, I had over to Open Door to see if they needed help.  Tomorrow they were giving away clothes.  They spent the night moving clothes from the storage to the store.  As I came in, they just finish.  We joked how great my timing was :D.  Hahaha.

.

..

...

It's good to be used sometimes.
Especially by the Holy One.

Share the Good News!

When it's all said and done..more is said.

That was my response to a friend a while ago over the topic of evangelism and outreach in our local church. We study the passage to death (Matthew 28:18-20). We have events to fire up people to go out and share the Good News. We have group activities, sharing, games to talk about evangelism, Great Commission. Yet all these effort, the proclaiming of the gospel still yet to be seen. (note: this might be a rather negative statement.)

For my own experience, nothing is more convicting than the truth of the Bible. Like a mirror. A glimpse of what I consider 'doing' the work for Christ is not what the Bible points to.

In John 1:41, two disciples of John the Baptist heard Jesus is the Messiah, one of them, immediately told his brother.

In Acts, where Paul traveled, he would go into the synagogue and preaches the Gospel (Acts 17:1, 10, 17, 18:5 etc.)

It is amazing what I learn from reading the Bible :). Page after page. Passage after passage. The gospel is being spread. It is told. It is proclaim. At times during persecution. At times when it is in peace. No matter what season or the circumstance. The Good News ispreach!

This month is Mission Month in my church. The weekend my pastor invited another pastor from NYC to talk about evangelism.

Yesterday we went to pass out gospel tracts in Mississauga. I told my pastor, "I am afraid but I am still going to go."

So yesterday, a bunch of us, in a busy corner passing gospel tracts. To be honest, I rather be doing something else. BUT...a big BUT....when Jesus calls and if I told Him I will follow, I will.

My pastor described evangelism as being obedient to the Lord's work. It wasn't about the result. There were those who took the tracts. Some rejected it. A lady yelled at me screaming, "my arms are full!" (hehe...really both of her hands were holding groceries). A man questioned me and asked me what about Islam.

We will not know where the tracts will lead to. We are just the messenger. God is the One who grows and changes the heart. The saddest part will be standing before Jesus and He asks me, "Cliff, what have you done with the blessings I bestow upon you?"

If all the blessings I spend on myself and my indulgence....I think we are pretty sure we know whether I am cliff-centered of Christ-centered. I just want my faith to be something real. Authentic. If it is puff up with nothing inside...I might as well forgo accepting this faith. It is either all-in or all-out. There is no other way.

Today, I had an opportunity to sit down with Don. We talked about my trip to Australia. A lot of laughs over pho. Before I dropped him off, I gave him a Bible. He told me he got one from me already (OOPS! Forgot about that). I told him this one is easier to read (it is a NLT version). I told him to read Luke and Acts. They are easier to read and give a good story of being a Christian. We prayed at pho and I told him God has been blessing him being able to row at 70 and still win medals.

Lord, I am not worthy to proclaim your message or consider as your children.

Because of your grace through Jesus Christ, my broken life was reconciled.

Might You be pleased with this offering.

Might Your Kingdom come upon Mississauga.

Might those who are your children be filled with the Spirit.

To be bold and courage to proclaim the Truth.

To be compassionated and love those who are lost.

As we were all lost before You reveal Yourself to us.

To not be distracted by many things in life.

Because these things, no matter how fine they are, will not last.

Might we focus on the eternal.

For temporal is second class.

And it is a shame to spend forever to dwell upon things that will pass away.

Being the hands and feet of Jesus

This is just some rough thoughts in my head. Just throwing some ideas around.

I was at prayer meeting tonight and next week we have a number of people going to Short Term Mission to Jamestown. I never know where Jamestown was until I looked in the map.

My heart sank at the thought of that place. If you like to know more info about Jamestown, please read here.

I am reminded of me going to Ryerson University. I remember one of the corner is call Hooker Harvey because that's where prostituions hang out. The neighbourhood is filled with drug dealers and suffered one of the worst crime rates in Toronto.

....

By the grace of God, I started to notice little difference between being the hands and feed for Jesus than just volunteering or doing good works. Granted, the latter is a noble cause (at least beat doing nothing!).

Allow me to explain...I would say the first and foremost is humility of oneself. When I shared a hot dog with people in Nathan Philip Square or helped out in Open Doors, I tried as hard as I can to treat those who I am serving as equal. I am reminded I am no better than them b/c of my education or my career or the stuff that I have. God simply blessed me more and as such it is my responsiblity to share (stewardship one??). I feel so easy to look at someone distinctly different than you (social status, ethnicity, age, gender etc.) and throw off an arrogance that I have more or I know more or I am better simply I am more 'successful' in life. This is foremost something I pray to God to humble me down. I asked God to crack and break my hard ego and cold heart.

The focus in serving is not for self gratification. I am not here to get praise. Though I am joyful when I know the work I am doing is joyful in His sight. This means that sometimes things might not go as expected. What if the person I am serving is rude to me? Do I go and rebuke that person? Of course not. Who am I to go rebuke them? Even if I do, it usually a sign of my ego-centric and prideful nature. Only when I let that go, do I consider denying myself, take up my cross and follow Him (Mark 8:34-38). So either scrubbing the toilet (where is rarely seen) or doing mundane task (rarely get praise for). It really ain't about me. It is about extending God's Kingdom.

To serve is not simply to use money to resolve a problem. Like buying lots of food for those who are hungry or buy things for those who are homeless. Serving, (I dare to say) is joining those who are oppress and who are suffering. In a way, we serve as Jesus serves. Jesus come to earth, born in a manger, and give up all His throne to dwell among us (in a world full of sin).

I don't go in with all my fancy gadgets and my material goods. First, this attitude hurts those who we are trying to help (take a look at DeYoung's blog post on this topic). Second, it only shows me of my own self indulgence and my own materialistic habit. Third, we are to love those who do not have hope and share the love that Jesus gave to us. This has a missional component to it. If money do really serve all the problem, we can simply donate and community will be restored and people will be free. However, it is neither this simple nor viable. Lastly, God extending His Kingdom not with worldly riches. Often Holy Spirit works among the most 'trying' times.

The last point which I am becoming ever more intrigue is the idea of sacrifice. For example, I can go for a sandwich run and buy the cheapest bread and meat that is about to expire and feed it to the needy. Yet, I will then go to a buffet and stuff myself. Is that serving? Jesus numerous consider that it is good to give the best to those who cannot get it themselves (Luke 14:15-23). Or better yet, those who don't deserve it. It is quite a reminder as we don't deserve the grace that God dwell upon us freely through the blood of His Son. Perhaps another way is to sacrifice the buffet I had and use that money to buy better sandwiches.

When I look at the last point, I asked myself, why am I hoarding all I have for me and nickel and dime for those who need it. Really, where is my heart at? When I ask this question and look at my hands, I feel dirty. I am ashame. I have become the man who see my barn is getting full and ask why not build a bigger one so I can enjoy it (Luke 12:13-21 The parable of the rich fool).

Lastly, and more importantly, we are there to share the Gospel. By living it out (actions and kind deeds [James 2:14-26]) and by words (gotta know the doctrine [1 Peter 3:15-16]). It is only the Gospel that saves. What we do on earth is all but temporary. Everything fades away. As Christian, our treasure lies in heaven (Luke 12:32-34) . If that's the case, we might as well throw everything (including the temproary, kitchen sink) for it. Everything for the Gospel. One focus.