I wish....

Sometimes I wish my church is like the other church....

Sometimes I wish my fellowship is like the other fellowship....

How come my Sunday Service is not as energizing as the other one....

Or how come my pastor doesn't preach like ______ (insert big names John Piper, Tim Keller, Francis Chan etc.)...

I think there is legit reasons to focus on self needs.  At the same time, lately, I wonder if this is more of a consumeristic and individualistic side of me..aka selfish desire.

God places us in circumstances where we are to grow Christ-like characters.  These circumstances are often less than ideal.  Like Moses and the disgruntled band of Israelites.  Or Paul, having to defend his apostleship rights and at the same time getting persecuted by Jews and gentiles and preach the gospel and rebuke churches.

What if we allow God and let Him direct which church, fellowship, ministry He wants us to go. Even at times it is less ideal (aka suck!).

I find this thought is more consistent with what Jesus talks about deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him.

How can I deny myself when I always want to get what I want?  Or how can I deny myself if I get upset when I don't get what I want?  Is God really not providing for my needs? Or is God already provide what I needed but like a little child making a hissy fit when a parent refuses to buy candy at the store?

Looking back, some of the less ideal situations, no English pastor, feud within fellowship, these are the moment I grew the most.  By growing I learnt to rely all on God.  By growing I surrendered all to Him.  By growing, to continue to respond in grace, in encourage and in love despite what happen.   By growing equals to praying like there's no tommorrow.

These are not done in good feeling from worship, sermon, reading books or fancy programs.

Perhaps it is sombering to realize that what I wish or what I view is the way to growing spiritually God will often blow that out of the water.  All the ideals I have about serving Him is thrown out.  All (self) ambition goals (which often lead to pride) are broken.  It is a matter to be obedience at all cost.  Not by my strength but by His Power.

The mind is transformed and renewed with Him being the King and the way He reigns the Kingdom on earth.

Sanctification: Feels like crap

A gmail chat with a friend....

just seek Christ...at times u might not feel like u are changing

but u will if u look back like 5 years from now

that's usually how sanctification works...it feels like crap or feels like nothing is changing..but it is 

it is just like training for a tri

it feels like crap

but u reap the fruits on race day
:D

Spiritual Growth and feeding

I've been meaning to post this for a while.....

On Sat night, I took A to downtown and shared hot dogs with R.  During the drive down, A asked me what's my view if someone wants to leave a church.  I gave him a whole spill....using the analogy of family and church as my spiritual family.

Then A asked...'what if you don't find growth in your church?  What if the church is not feeding you?'

I told A we have to be careful in defining what's spiritual growth.  I shared how there are some days which I don't feel I am growing at all.   However, when I look back, those times which I thought were standstill, God was actually shaping me.

Second, growth and feeding can be subjective (and consumeristic).  Say, I am sold into street missions and my church doesn't have street ministry.  Is it legit for me to go to another church that offer this ministry?  Maybe.  Perhaps God placed this burden in my heart to help establish and start street mission and shared this with others.

Or it can't be, I don't like this way the pastor preaches, I am going somewhere else.
Or I don't like the worship style of this church, I am going somewhere else.
Or what this church have no triathlon ministry? I am going somewhere else.

Our church is our spiritual family. I don't go and shop for my father and my mother.  Neither should I do that for my church.

I do not doubt that there are times when God called someone to go to another local church.  But we should always be wise in discerning whether this from our prideful, self driven desire (even if the desire is to serve God), or is the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

When I was reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together, a book describing Christian fellowship...he wrote the following:

Christian community is like the Christian's sanctification.  It is a gift of God which we cannot claim.  Only God knows the real state of our fellowship, of our sanctification.  What may appear weak and trifling to us may be great and glorious to God.  Just as the Christian should not be constantly feeling his spiritual pulse, so, too, the Christian community has not been given to us by God for us to be constantly taking its temperature.  The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases.

He was talking about fellowship.  I wondered if I can re-apply back to one's spiritual walk.  Though there are times when I don't feel like I am growing, it might well be the Holy Spirit working in me where some day in the future I can pinpoint this period of dryness as stage of growth.

I should have mentioned to A about my teeth accident back in 2005.  Though it might be 'bad', it was a crucial and a point where my faith grow in abundance!