Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dying of oneself....

Taken from the website,

God calls us to have fellowship with each other. But in a fallen world, His people are often separated from those who share their faith. Many today are standing alone in the midst of nominal "Christians" who neither know God nor desire to follow Him.

Bonhoeffer was surrounded by lukewarm pastors and cultural "Christians" who supported Hitler. To most people in the established German Lutheran church, security and wealth had become more important that Biblical truth and faithfulness to God.

When he was imprisoned, he was separated from those he who, like him, trusted God. Compromise was not an option, so He put all his trust in God. (Of course, so did Moses, Joseph, David, Paul and many others whose faith deepened when totally separated unto God alone)


Often, it is myself that gets in the way of being use by God. God wants me to go this way, but I choose to do that. God convicts me to be disciplined but I choose to go and have fun.

And it is an internal struggle. I feel like I am fighting against myself everyday. There are things which I know are wrong and are tempting. And then there are things which are sinful and I am doing it without a thought about it.

I had some interesting conversations for the past few days. Mainly on Christian living.

What it boils down to is what does it mean to be a Christian in 2009. How does it look like?

A few questions I ask were:

- was I/my fellowship/my church effective in sharing the gospel?

- did I/my fellowship/ my church grieve for those who are lost? Are we sadden by it?

- have I cost anything for the gospel? And I challenge further by stating that going to meeting, leading a ministry is not very costly as it is still comfortable to a degree.


As for these questions, I am shamefully admit that I haven't been very effective in sharing the gospel. And I think more about myself than grieve for those who are lost. Let alone, connect to them. And it cost me very little for the gospel.

I am more ashame to say I follow Christ...when I barely taken the first step in following Him.

This year, 2009, I challenged myself. I need to cost something. And when it comes to cost. I want to cost more. And at times, I am fighting against my own nature. The self that desires to be comfort and entertain. The self in a culture we grow up that encourage us to focus upon. The self, that is very attractive on the outside but is hallow and empty and does not satisfy my thirst.

I would sacrifice security and wealth. For one is an illusion and the other rusts.

I will follow the truth and the faithfulness. As both are neither an attractive nor tangible asset in the world.

And I think this is pretty radical.

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:13-14)

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