Friday, November 14, 2008


Last night, my fellowship had a discussion on changing leadership. As the candidate talked about himself and where he felt God is leading him, I had a little revelation.

He was talking about relationship between brothers and sisters in a fellowship.

Relationship. My mind zoned to a different context. I remembered the emotional roller coaster I had before. During the relationship, I shared all my struggle with a brother. I spoke him afterward and realized we had many many many conversations over relationships.

I kept a journal during that time and I read it again a few days ago. Even though it was my hand writing and my experience, it felt like a third person. It brought me back to a point a few years ago. Strangely, it felt much further away.

As the candidate spoke about relationship. It dawned on me about the post I made earlier. I was talking about Matthew 6:25-32 where Jesus talked about to not worry about what we eat or drink and instead seek His Kingdom and His Righteousness.

I looked back over the course of my life. Those who I felt attracted to (romantic relationships) are often not by my own doing. It almost as if things just happen that made my head (more like my heart) turn.

I once again reaffirm my challenge...let's put everything (money, work, life) into seeking His Kingdom and His Righteousness. My Heavenly Father knows what I need.

In the book, The Challenges of the Discipline Life by Richard J. Foster, he ended a section on Sex and Marriage with:

"trust in Him, do all you can yourself and live in hope. And even if marriage does not come, you can know that His grace is sufficient for that." (pg. 133)

As the triathlon season for 2008 winds down, it is almost the perfect time to stop and reflect on where God has taken me and will take me. A lot of quiet time on the road with songs and meditation.

I've been praying to continue to seek His Kingdom. There are many ministries I can get my hands on. Though I know there only a few that He wants me to participate in.

So the praying continues. And the seeking continues :)

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